Relationship

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
Pema Chödrön

What I Know For Sure

I love Oprah's writing on what she knows for sure. Anne Lamott has done something similar so I decided to make my own list.

1-If you are growing, your questions and doubts will increase as you get older, not get less. Your ideas can be pretty drastically changed from what they were decades before.

2-The nicest people to be around are those who don't believe in absolutes.

3-Time you enjoy wasting is never wasted.

4-Laughter is healing.

5-True friends help you feel good about life.

6-Healthy pleasure seeking and avoidance of unhealthy pain is the basis of a life well lived.

7-One of the highest pleasures in life is to know you had a hand in leaving the world a better place. Particularly leaving the next generation as good and decent and moral as possible. 

8-What works for one person does not work for everyone. See #2.

9-If something works for someone and causes no harm, let them be!

10-Everyone's world, whether they admit it or not, revolves around their pursuit of #6.

11-People have a happiness set point. I don't know how that set point is set, but I am pretty sure of it.

12-Your definition of joy will change throughout life. At one point it may require excitement, at another point it may be all about contentment.

13-Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. Done well it could change the world. This does not imply everyone should be parents.

14-Intention is huge. Give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to intention unless they show a pattern that is clear.

15-Unconditional love is not always healthy.

16-Setting your own boundaries is how you own your own life.

17- What I know for sure, I don't really know for sure.

Do NOT Tell Me To Be Quiet

Janis Ian

13 hrs · 

In the past 48 hours I have been told to "get over it" and "suck it up" by more than 100 people on my own page.
Here is my response. I will continue to post as many political comments and memes as I like. I will also continue to post as many free downloads, funny photos, and interesting quotes as I like. Why? Because this is my page.
This is also my country. My grandparents did not watch their families slaughtered by Cossacks and gutted by so-called Russian "patriots", then WALK across Russia and Ukraine, endure unimaginable hardships, and finally arrive at the Statue of Liberty - and then learn a new language, a new way of life, a new way of government - so I could give up the right to dissent.
That is why my family came here. That is why my grandfather bagged groceries and my grandmother ran a boarding house and my other grandmother took in mending. That is why my father went into the service and then to college on the G.I. bill, why my mother took night courses, why everyone and everything in my family was geared toward thinking and questioning and moving forward. So that I, a second-generation American, could, through merit and hard work, become "the American dream".
So here is my answer to those of you who would normalize what is happening around us right now. 

Dear James (and Elizabeth, and Harold, and all the rest) -
Thank you for posting. I appreciate your suggesting that I now "let it go" and "suck it up" because "like it or not, he's our president." (Or in the case of all the Australians and New Zealanders chiming in for some reason, "he's your president now.")
All right! Which part would you like me to let go of? Shall I drop the "grab pussy" part? or maybe the "gay people need conversion therapy" part, since Pence said it, not Trump?
How about the Muslim registry, so wonderfully reminiscent of that bright yellow star my forebears had to sew on their coats? Or maybe I should heed Trump's statement "It's cold in New York - we need global warming".
Wait. I can suck it up and try to forget the part where he dodged the draft, then said of John McCain "I like people who weren't captured" Wouldn't that be patriotic?
And as a Jersey girl, I could just "suck up" and "let go" of the part where he said "thousands and thousands of people" in Jersey City were cheering as the World Trade Center buildings fell.
Wait, I know! Let's forget freedom of the press, his veiled threats to allow White House briefing access only to periodicals that agree with him. Suck on that, you liberal swine. Maybe I can also let go of the part where he threatens newspapers with changes in the libel laws, so he can sue them - and I can suck up to the National Enquirer, owned and run by Trump's dear friends.
Wait! My grandparents were always terrified they'd have to prove they had a right to be in America, so even though it was always illegal to require it, they carried their "papers" with them everywhere. Yeah, if there'd been a Jew Registry, they could already have been counted.
How about I about I let go of him saying “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”? Or when he said Mexico would pay for "the wall", except now we have to front the money?
Or my personal favorite, the part where he promises and promises to release his tax returns if he's elected....
C'mon, James. Which part should I let go of first?
No no no!!! I take it all back! I want to let go of this part, because somehow, I can't un-hear it. I can't un-see it. And I sure as hell can't "suck up to it":
"I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything." Donald J. Trump
Nice. Go after married women. Cheat on your first two wives (at least). Kiss someone who doesn't invite it and consider yourself a "magnet". How presidential.
Yes, folks. I'll "suck it up" and "let it go". When hell freezes over.
You don't like it? Get off my page.

Okay!

No Criticism of the President

I Apologize---

I Am Not Mad at You